Wednesday 2 May 2012

On Eating a Scotch Egg

Thou wert not fashioned by human hand
O Orb of Meaty Wonder whose fiery
Sunset hues betray thy celestial origin
Thou Sphaere which hath plungèd from the
Realm of Jove Himself to our sublunary plane;
Th'encrusting rough crumb contrasteth with
The smoothe interior as doth the Cocoa-nut
Conceal her milky bounty 'neath the vile coir;
Or the Pastye of Corn-walle enfold its
Toothsome treasure in a rugged carapayse
Thy fleshy ramparts surrender to the dental foe
Revealing thy tender myst'ries to the eater's gaze
An egge of hen artfullye concealed in a womb of pork
No finger food this for hungry Musulman or Jew
Thou cunning Caledonian culinary conundrum !!
Certain bolde gentlemen of that Boreal nation
Do not venture forth without a sporrane
That is to say a satchell of badgere-skyn
In which are concealed a brace of this delicacie
As it were a second payre of stoones
For th'amayzement of the ladyes
And the annoyance of the Sassenackes

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