Saturday, 12 May 2012


In the Council Leisure Centre
Filled with sweaty Zumba ladies
That is where I go to shower
After pumping tons of iron
If you want there is a sauna
But you must pay xtra wonga
So no sauna just a shower
Hope I will not catch verruca
Thus I put on rubber sandals
Take my bag of bits and pieces
Waddle to the furthest nozzle
Press the button which releases
Mighty jets of freezing water
Squeeze myself into the corner
Try to hide from chilly torrent
After maybe twenty seconds
Water is no longer freezing
Step into the bracing liquid
Squeeze the shampoo from the bottle
Anti dandruff frequent usage
With blueberries not sure why though
Rub the gloop into my hairdo
Nice and foamy is the lather
Don't forget to do my beard too
It responds to frequent washing
Not sure if a beard gets dandruff
Still no harm in giving shampoo
Make sure mouth is not akimbo
Do not like the taste of shampoo
Now it is the second bottle
Make my hair feel nice and slippy
This one smells of peach and mango
On the advert pretty lady
Has a very pleased expression
Not sure if I'm really worth it
Was it totally organic ?
Never mind it didn't cost much
From the local discount warehouse
Now I rinse my pampered forelock
Leave it gleaming good as new
Rub it briskly with the towel
That is what I have to do
Now my hair is nearly ready
Final drying then a comb
Whirring of the plastic gadget
Sending heat into my dome
Put on clothes collect my baggage
"See you next week"
I'm off home

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