Tuesday, 27 November 2012

in the castle: heraldry

Mama ?
Yes Euterpe ?
Why is there a badger on your escutcheon ?
It is not a badger child
It is a waterbear rampant
And the fish and flowers ?
We see three luces bottony
Per pale on a field or
And twelve fleurs gentil azure
Per fess engrailed with five molets tenne
Whatever Mama
Heraldry is a noble art Euterpe
And should not be mocked
Sorry Mama
But all of these poncy words
Are doing in my melon
Where do you learn such uncouthness child ?
Let me guess
Hayloft ?
Stable boy ?
She shoots she scores
Well young lady no more adventures
In the fodder store
Until your attitude improves
You are banned from the livery yard
Until the next triple moon
Harsh Mama harsh
Remind me of the current oaf ?
Since you imprisoned Dwayne last week
The stable boy has been the gorgeous Baz
He is half Afric and half Cipango
And all man
He can ride a horse facing backwards
And speaks to them in their own tongue
He knows the secrets of oriental pleasure
And his velvet skin is adorned with tattoos
Indeed child
I shall inspect them before his flogging
Mama Baz has done no harm
He is very careful
And does not deserve your wrath
I shall visit the hayloft and
Speak with this Baz myself
Perhaps he may convince me
To spare him
Mama !
It is an employer's duty
To ensure that the staff
Are functioning satisfactorily
Yes Mama
To the belvedere child
Antares is on the cusp of Rigel
We must imbricate forthwith
Yes Mama

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