Big Man: An Improved Ballade

Big Man: A Ballade

Dark the Scottish night, dreich and drear
When Stirling's finest joined the train
His express route to stardom clear
On Youtube are his deeds made plain;
With canny Scots financial brain
And braw physique the lowlifes fear
This gentle giant heard the jeer
As bawbag dissed the man again


The Big Man shewed no trace of fear
And asked the chap if he would fain
Permit him to eject the smear;
The old one said if he would deign
To chuck the halfwit from the train
He would in no wise interfere;

The time for action now drew near
Nae problems to the plan remain

With brawny arm and visage sere
Our hero seized the Greybeard's Bane
And flung him out upon his ear
And stopped him coming in again
The Perth train's loss, Linlithgow's gain
Nae doubt the bawbag shed a tear
When Youtube made his wrongness clear
And on his headgear heaped disdain

Envoi

Prince of ScotRail, we thee cheer
Let Procurators now refrain
From blighting Hogmanay our frère;
Barlinnie waits for Master Main