Wassail: A Ballade
Take not the choccie from the box
Nor yet the biccie from the tin
Step forth in trackie, snow white socks
The exercise will make you thin
To snack 'twixt meals is such a sin
And don't forget your five a day
Bad carbs are out, good proteins in
This is the Modern Healthy Way
Oh you may shake your greasy locks
And try to hide your double chin
Complaining that your partner mocks
Your massive bones and taste for gin
So clear the larder, fill the bin
The booze and fags all chuck away
The decks are clear so let's begin
This is the Modern Healthy Way
The weeks and months pass and your frocks
Once tight now all need taking-in
Your flabby limbs now hard as rocks
Propel you forward for the win
Your friends and neighbours, kith and kin
These firm intentions cannot sway
Your lycra's like a second skin
This is the Modern Healthy Way
Envoi
Prince ! our lissom future sovereign
To slimness lead us all we pray
Pippa's derrière desiring
This is the Modern Healthy Way
Nor yet the biccie from the tin
Step forth in trackie, snow white socks
The exercise will make you thin
To snack 'twixt meals is such a sin
And don't forget your five a day
Bad carbs are out, good proteins in
This is the Modern Healthy Way
Oh you may shake your greasy locks
And try to hide your double chin
Complaining that your partner mocks
Your massive bones and taste for gin
So clear the larder, fill the bin
The booze and fags all chuck away
The decks are clear so let's begin
This is the Modern Healthy Way
The weeks and months pass and your frocks
Once tight now all need taking-in
Your flabby limbs now hard as rocks
Propel you forward for the win
Your friends and neighbours, kith and kin
These firm intentions cannot sway
Your lycra's like a second skin
This is the Modern Healthy Way
Envoi
Prince ! our lissom future sovereign
To slimness lead us all we pray
Pippa's derrière desiring
This is the Modern Healthy Way
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