Sunday, 25 December 2011

Winter Solstice 2011

Tomorrow before dawn
The Solstice moment will come
At 0530
According to The Guardian
When the Earth tilts as far
From the Sun as it can
Before gradually reversing
Its stately pas de deux
The days lengthening
Through the Spring Equinox
Towards the Summer Solstice
When we enjoy the Longest Day
With our Axis
Tilted at 23.5ยบ
Towards the Sun

Fact: tomorrow is the shortest day

Fact: in London it will be 7 hours
49 minutes
43 seconds
Although slightly longer in, say
Austral Catford
Compared to Boreal Hampstead

Fact: it is not the day with the earliest sunset
That is 8 or so days before the Solstice

Fact: it is not the day with the latest sunrise
That is 8 or so days after the Solstice

Fact: various people dressed in bedsheets
Carrying sticks and Whatnot
Will be Prancing Around
Enjoying their made-up rituals
Which date as far back as 1970

Fact: next year's Winter Solstice
On 21st December
Is supposed to
Be the End of the World
Based on Erroneous Readings
Of the Mayan Calendar
And suchlike crapperie

Fact: i would not rely on a
Calendar which does not
Predict Bank Holidays
Did the Mayan Calendar
Tell us to take a Day Off
On 29th April 2011 ?
Well ? Hmmm ?

Fact: in the Antipodes
It is probably the
Other Way Round
Most things there are
But you can check
It yourself

Anyway i wish you all
A Merry Solstice and a
Happy New Year
Even if it is the Last One

Ursa Major


Here is my quick Solstice ceremony:

Equipment needed:
Orange or other globular fruit

Wear the sheet like a loose toga

"All Hail mighty Sun... we have tilted far from thy majesty... we wish to return to your warm embrace out of the cold "

you should recite the above holding the orange at arm's length, pointing the stick to the east and tilting backwards
Ideally this should be done outdoors, but at a window is OK.
At precisely 0530 the sheet should be dropped
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