Sunday, 25 December 2011

Big Man: A Ballade

Dark the December night, dreich and drear
When Stirling's finest stepped into the train
Which would propel him to stardom clear
His deeds on Youtube can be seen again;
With canny Scots financial brain
And braw physique the lowlifes fear
This gentle giant heard the bawbag jeer
Who held the ScotRail Greybeard in disdain

The Big Man shewed no trace of fear
And asked the Greybeard if he would fain
Permit him to eject the sweary smear;
The old man said if he would deign
To chuck the halfwit from the train
To the rules he would adhere
And thus forbear to interfere;
No obstacles to action would remain

And so with brawny arm and visage sere
Our hero seized the Greybeard's Bane
And flung him out upon his ear
And stopped him coming in again
The Perth train's loss, Linlithgow's gain
Nae doubt the bawbag shed a tear
When Youtube made his wrongness clear
And on his headgear heaped disdain


Prince of Scottish travellers, we humbly cheer
Your acts and pray the Procurator will refrain
From blighting your Hogmanay our frère;
For you an MBE and a pox on Master Main

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